I miss my best friend, you're gonna hear about it

Layne has been in basic training for a few days now, has texted us a few times and all is well for him. It makes me feel secure knowing he's not in a nest made of heroin, but here's where I turn on the water works: I MISS HIM.

Look at him and tell me you wouldn't be sad not having the chance to see that face for 6 months! It's making me feel all warm and fuzzy thinking about when he'll be back... He's a very important person to us. And for me, I wouldn't be who I am without him, it sounds kind of extreme but he got me into Sublime and Soundgarden, that's a big deal to me...

Not only those things, but that son of a bitch has been there for me nearly EVERY SINGLE TIME I NEEDED HIM. A few times he missed cause he was drunk or had his brain turned to mush over a girl, but he still gave a damn. I wouldn't have too much confidence without him, life would be boring, I would have nothing to look forward to as a 12 year old... He's so fucking fun to talk to, even when there's nothing to say (if anyone gets that extremely small pun, you get a cookie). In the early days when no one had responsibilities and when he first started at Sam Ash, we'd talk until fucking 5AM, sometimes one on one, sometime in our group. Those were memories staring at a computer, sure, but they make my heart burst with happy. And a few weeks ago, me and him talked on the phone until 7AM, and were on cam. We saw ourselves falling asleep and our voices couldn't hold up any more, and he still gave me a speech about confidence and not turning into anyone's door mat, and I wish I could thank him for that right now. Maybe when he comes back, I might just write something here.

But here's something, it's 5AM and I need to go to bed, I'm full of happy and an itchy head. I love Private Wiebalck to fucking death and nothing can get in the way of that, because that short cranky bastard is one in a million.

Louder Than Love: Why it's better than most things

I was about to make a hot dog and suddenly I thought of Uncovered, off Louder Than Love, Soundgarden's album that is basically an orgasm made into music. Listen, I was convinced to listen to this as my introduction to Soundgarden one night when I was talking to Crunchy. Luckily, for whatever reason, mom bought this on a whim when we went out one day and OH HO, IT WAS THERE FOR THE PICKING.

So at the wonderful age of 12, with my terrible insomnia and new found chronic depression, I listened to this at, I think, 1AM and my mind EXPLODED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. This was my source of life for a long time, along with Mario Kart and Metalocalypse. Those were good times that I miss like a motherfucker. We lived at the old place, aka the ex I will stalk and think about forever. During that time, it'd rain alot, or get cold, and I had red hair, and was in 7th grade and hated education like you couldn't possibly understand...

This album got me through the day when I was bored, tired, aching, annoyed, upset, and when my eyes were about to pop out of my skull from whatever. My body really doesn't feel good most of the time. But the memories I think of when I listen to this album mean the entire world to me. After this, and today, I am a strong Soundgarden fan and Chris Cornell needs to stop making bad solo albums (minus his first, IT'S GOD, THAT ONE) and get back to his roots for a bit. Also... Ok you know what, I'll say it straight up, REUNITE SOUNDGARDEN FOR A TOUR JESUS GOD ODIN ALLAH BUDDHA UUUUUUUUUUGH.

To get off from the negative for a bit, and to take my mind off that hot mess called Project Revolution, Louder Than Love was just another gateway to understanding what time I was going through, and gave life back to music for me. I'm only almost 15, listening to this takes me back to what seems like centuries. Lots of things changed since then, I miss it alot. For now, I'm gonna pretend to be 12, and everyone can shut it.

<3 Monty

Monty's my record spinny. Right now it's playing Appetite for Destruction, and it's much better this way than on CD. I remember why this struck me so hard when I was 10. I'm also listening to the Pixies and trying out Bad Brains. <3 pretending to live 20 years ago.

I dunno if I can listen to CDs anymore and be like "Hmmmm nice". I'll nerd out and go "Yeah it's remastered, but it's not QWUALITY." Yes, quality with a W. Because that's how my dad says it when he's gushing over something... It's strange to hear.

Also, I worked my fingers into a tizzy with this scale shit. The pinky is the lazist little fucker! Always making the E string buzz. And the end of my index finger stings, but it'll be worth it in five years. <_<

Also, to leave you all with something awesome Chloe said long ago: "God hates me! The feeling is mutual!"

I'm totally with Tash on the warning thing

It's so annoying. But uh, I got other things to discuss...

I just moved three days ago. The house is awesome, I got my own room, and the kitchen is nice. But honestly, I miss the fuck out of the old apartment. Even though I got no privacy and everything drove me crazy, and the dishwasher was broken as fuck, and stuff, I loved it. I lived there for seven years, and I found out who I was there. And I met my friends while living there. I had many fun nights staying up until 4AM in the living room watching Adult Swim, and it was a very cozy place. I almost regretted moving, since I also suggested it to my mom before we found out we could rent this place.

I'm being pathetic and staring at this picture I took of all the boxes laying around the old house, and honestly... That was when it was most comforting. I dunno, I listened to Soundgarden and Pink Floyd like crazy because it was reminding me of old times, and I knew that I wouldn't be there much longer and wanted it to be fun. But even then, I was starting to go through some emotional hell hole, and I still need to find a way to end it. I cried alot the first night we stayed here...

While I love my new room, I dunno if I'll be as happy here as I was over there.